24 August 2014

Someone Whom You've Not Met Is In Love With You For 7 Years

I'm stumped by the fact that a Taiwanese guy whom I've not met in person is in love with me for 7 years. I found that out only today after linking up with him just yesterday after a few years absent. He had sent me a message and I added him to my social network app.

Years ago, he had sent me a message on my other social network app online and we chatted briefly on MSN, he was 19 then and I thought he was a tad too young. Nonetheless, we maintained an on and off chat and I shared with him advises and listened to him on his problems. It didn't take long for him to profess his love for me, which I kindly turned down. The reason I told him that we are too far apart and that he is still young and should concentrate on his studies. I also consciously decided to avoid him and cut down our conversation as I realised that he is serious about his love for me. Eventually, we did not chat online and things dwindled down.

Little that I know that after so many years, he still feels the same for me. I thought he would had found someone else and move on, but no. I told him the same reasons I told him years ago and that I'll feel bad if he had wasted all this time waiting for something that may not happened, but he is adamant. Nothing I can say can't change his mind.

He even told me that he had not had sex with anyone and that he was waiting for me and looking forward to meet me in the future. I was skeptical and asked him how he deals with his urges and he says for the past years, he used the pics I gave him to Jo. (OMG, unbelievable)

I asked him how he would feels if someone had said the same things he said to me, to him? I told him that I felt pressurised from what he said and also that the thought that someone had love me for 7 years without even meeting is :
1. Very Romantic
2. Very Creepy

Anyway, I am taking everything with a pinch of salt and see how things progresses. He is a nice kid and I had spoken with him over the phone and he comes across as genuine as he can be and I still the same vibes I get from him after all these years. 

To an extreme, I even told him that I am not the boyfriend material as I am too much of a playboy and his answer to me is that he don't mind who I am and only want me to allow him to love me. (His msg :"我不管你多不專一, 我只要你讓我愛你就好")

Still the thought that such devotion for a skeptical person like me stumped me. I am never a person who are at a lost for words but I sure am now. So in the mean time, I just take it in and smile. 


Posted 24 April 2012 - 06:42 PM on BW  http://www.blowingwind.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=31629

09 July 2014

The Life Of A Kept Boy @ 22

Life as a kept boy is never all rosy and nice. I was a kept boy at age 22. He was a successful boss with glamorous lifestyle, double my age. I met him while working in town and his company was next to my ex company. To my family, he was my godfather. I was young, confused about my sexuality and his lifestyle was glamorous and exciting. I wasn't in the gay circle until I met him. I stayed at his place and we are seen everywhere together and he pays for everything whenever we are out. Sex was great, he was the older bottom and I the younger top. It was him and only him that I did the "helicopter".

It was about a year into our "relationship" that I got a call from one of his fuck buddy; It was another young guy. It was then that I realised that he had been doing things behind my back. That guy on the phone even ask me if I want to have sex with him, which I refused. I was young, naive and I just knew that he was very nice to me and I didn't even thought that I was in a "relationship" with him, because we never talked about such thing. I was with him because he was nice to me. I thought I was bi then, Sounds familiar rite?


Things when downhill from thereon and I realised that he became a different person whenever he was drunk. One of the evening, during one of our verbal fights and his drunken stupor, he smashed my head with a glass ashtray and I fainted. It was then I realised that I can't be with such a person. I ran out of the house and he chased after me. The neighbours called the police and because of not to caused any problem, I followed him back. I was really traumatised and was fearful of my life because I was not in control of my own life. I finally found an excuse to move back with my parent by saying I was going for further studies.


He called me up to talk and I told him to meet me in a crowded place to prevent him from getting violent. During our talk, he threaten to out me to my parents. At that moment, I can only tell him that I've told my parents that he is gay and that he had abused me. He was shocked and surprised that I had told my parents and I told him that if he were to come to my place to find trouble with me, we will call the police. Of course, I lied. After that incident, I dropped out of the scene and avoided any places that he might go.


So, for those who thinks that life as a kept boy is all fun and roses, I would tell you from personal experience that it's not. It was good while it lasted but you have no control of your life and actions. You lose your self dignity and people will still remember you were someone's kept boy even after many years had passed.


I've never told anyone about this pass of mine and I struggled whether to post this in BW, but I thought I should share my past in the hope that those young and naive guys don't follow my footstep and end up somewhere you don't want to.


You have many choices to choose and you decide the life you live. So, be wise and grounded but most importantly be true to yourself and be happy. 


Posted 30 April 2012 - 04:54 PM on BW  http://www.blowingwind.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=31753&p=408987