59 years young

 In early August, my partner and I celebrated our 9th anniversary. And this month, we celebrated our birthdays one after another. I considered myself to be lucky as some of my friends are still single. I am blessed to have a partner whom have been with me for the past 9 years.

As one gets older, many things will change, things which I was very particular about, does not matter much nowadays. One no longer feels the need to get angry over mundane unimportant stuff. What used to be nuisance don't agitate me any more.Am I getting mellow? Perhaps.

During my recent birthday, I find it a chore replying to phone and social media messages; which was flooded with well wishing messages. But still glad that friends never fails to wish me well. I really enjoyed the quite time with my partner watching TV together or just dinner on our beds, or lunch / dinner outside by ourselves or with friends. And due to the COVID situation; one moment it's 2 pax, one moment it's 5 pax, then back to 2 pax. So dining out can be a hassle, besides being dangerous, as one might get infected.

I no longer prefer to join in big groups but prefers the companies of good friends, catching up with them taking lunch or dinner and enjoying each other's company. 

I enjoyed hearing the sound of  my partner sleeping / snoring / breathing loudly next to me. My partner is working hard everyday and he loves what he is doing. Something he will share his joy or unhappiness at work and I will just listen and give him some of my views. That's how we communicate. He is also going through some tough challenges as his mom is fighting her final stage of cancer. And the only thing he can do is to get mentally prepared beside getting things ready for her after her passing. 

My mom passed away due to cancer, 3 years ago and on the day of her passing, was the day I had to fly overseas for work. I did get to say my brief goodbye before rushing off to the airport but did not have the grieving send off. When I came back 1 month later, things had gone back to norm and my family members had began to cope with the lost of my mom. As for me, there was this blank in my memories of her passing and she no longer appear in my parent's house when I visit. Yet, I did not regret the decision of not staying back for her funeral as it was necessary for me to leave for work with I had committed. Still, somehow, I can only accept that that's how life had been per-arranged by fate.Such is life.

I am so looking forward to my 60th birthday next year but I know that it will be filled with lots of challenges because of the recent rise in COVID cases. We will never know if next year will be a good or bad year but just count the blessings and takes things in stride and manage the challenges as it comes. 

Stay safe!