Just entered my 60 year a few days ago and am officially a lao uncle.
Also months before, I celebrated my 10th year anniversary with my partner.
I was torned between wanting a big celebration and yet another part of me wanted a simple dinner
with friends and loved ones. Luckily my brother invited me to join him and his family for the
celebrationand ended up having a family dinner at MBS.
As I separate my gay friends and family friends, I started celebrating very early and work my way till
my big 60.
Surprisingly, I got a message from my ex and met him for a very exclusive Japanese lunch. Chatted
and found out that he recently broke off with his partner of 1 and half years. Encouraged my ex to
open up his circle of friends and join groups like Out in Sg where they organise many well meaning
programs and events for PLUs.
I hope that he will recover from his last relationship and find someone he can be with. That said, I
had also told him that it’s not easy for those above 40s to find love. Many gays brings with themselves
lots of past baggages and sometime due to personality, etc. It’s hard for someone to change their
ways or compromise their standards. But still, no harm trying getting to know more friends, for a start.
As one gets older, we must accept the fact that your contact list will start getting smaller. Just a few
days ago, a friend just passed on as well as famous celebrities or people passing on, most recently
as the Queen of England, Queen Elizeberth. May she rest in peace.
Also my brother had a heart attack but was saved by the doctors when he went to the hospital in time,
before he went unconscious.
So life is fleeting. I really need to start exercising as I am becoming more and more like a bear instead
of a Gachi Muchi.
04 August 2022
Yesterday, was our 10th years together. We did have a small celebration after we came back from the pub and shared a piece of Tiramisu cake to mark our 10th Anniversary. He is fast asleep as he has a long day tomorrow and will be busy till the end of Sunday.
What can I say, time flies and we braved through 10 years together. My partner's work life is getting him very busy and I am glad to see that he is making his way up the ladders in his work life.
As for me, I am just glad to be the person supporting him and his endeavors. He is heading towards the right direction and I am happy for him.
I count my blessing that we are this far in our relationship, which can be rare for guys like myself approaching my 60 in about 2 month's time. He still finds me sexy and still gets turn on by me.
He had turned from a lean guy to a little bear cub and I had turned from a stocky guy to a daddy bear. We both puts on much weight during the 2 year covid restriction. Well, life goes on.
Looking forward to the next 10 years together.
23 February 2022
There was once, many years ago, I met this manly stocky guy in a sauna
and from his mannerism, I can tell that he is a top. It wasn't long
before our eyes met and we ended up in a room. This guy was pretty laid
back and didn't do much so I took charged and gave him a foreplay he
will never forget. Even till now, whenever we meet for coffee, he will
bring up the time, I popped his cherry in the sauna.
You see, there are active top and there are passive top. Depending on
my mood, I will sometimes play the active top and sometimes the passive
top. I am most active when I see someone my type and after a few
minutes of foreplay like lick, nibbling on their sensitive areas, you
can hear them moaning with every move you make. By then, they are
already hooked on what you are doing on them. Those shy person will be
very conscientious how loud they moan, while those unabashed one would
moan out loud. I once had a Jap guy who covers his own mouth to prevent
himself from moaning too loud. I thought that was really funny.
Anyway, back to the stocky guy, he was moaning and was wiggling from my
incessant attack on his sensitive areas, from his neck to his back to
his ass. to his thighs, etc. Slowly I took out the lube and apply to his
hole. He sort of woke up from his senses and with his hand, tried to
stop me from lubing his hole. He says he had not tried getting fucked
and feels that my dick would be too big to go into his tight hole and he
is worried that it will hurt. I tried to pacify him by telling him that
I was just rubbing my dick outside of his hole and will not go in. (of
course I lied). [Note: never believe a top when he says he just rubbing
his dick outside your hole and not go in. It eventually will. hahaha]
With condom on, I lay on his back licking his neck and nibbling on his
ears and I positioned my dick just outside his crack. He was moaning and
breathing heavily, and it wasn't long when my dick slid slowly into his
hole. On and off he will ask me if my dick had gone in, I lied and told
him "no, it's just outside". I know right, I am bad. hahaha,
It took me rather long time, but eventually I was already fully inside
him. He did not feel any pain and he was still moaning from all my
licking and nibbling on his sensitive neck and ears. By then, it was too
late for him, he felt so high and he could not believed that I had
already entered him. Without pulling out my dick, I maneuvered him into
missionary. Then I started pumping in and out slowly. He was moaning
like crazy and I was hitting his prostate. He told me that he felt like
shitting and also he felt like peeing, I told him to relax and just
enjoy the sensations. And he was already leaking precum all over his
abs. not long, he shot his load without touching his cock and I came
immediately after him due to the contraction of his ass. Mind you, he
was really tight and his ass was gripping my cock tightly. I helped him
wiped the cum on his body with the toilet paper and slowly pulls out my
cum filled condom and tie a knot and threw it in the bin.
I then whispered into his ear, 你是我的人了! Haha, we laughed and he asked me
how the hell did I fucked him without him realising it. I told him I
had hypnotized him with my cock. He told me then that it was his first
time and I told him that; "I know". He said it was also his first time
autocum. I told him; “ I know too."
We exchanged numbers and left. We still meet occasionally for coffee but had moved past the sex part and became good friends.
So, to answer the question, is anal sex painful? Well, if done right by the right person, it should not be painful.
In early August, my partner and I celebrated our 9th anniversary. And this month, we celebrated our birthdays one after another. I considered myself to be lucky as some of my friends are still single. I am blessed to have a partner whom have been with me for the past 9 years.
As one gets older, many things will change, things which I was very particular about, does not matter much nowadays. One no longer feels the need to get angry over mundane unimportant stuff. What used to be nuisance don't agitate me any more.Am I getting mellow? Perhaps.
During my recent birthday, I find it a chore replying to phone and social media messages; which was flooded with well wishing messages. But still glad that friends never fails to wish me well. I really enjoyed the quite time with my partner watching TV together or just dinner on our beds, or lunch / dinner outside by ourselves or with friends. And due to the COVID situation; one moment it's 2 pax, one moment it's 5 pax, then back to 2 pax. So dining out can be a hassle, besides being dangerous, as one might get infected.
I no longer prefer to join in big groups but prefers the companies of good friends, catching up with them taking lunch or dinner and enjoying each other's company.
I enjoyed hearing the sound of my
partner sleeping / snoring / breathing loudly next to me. My partner is working hard everyday and he loves what he
is doing. Something he will share his joy or unhappiness at work and I
will just listen and give him some of my views. That's how we
communicate. He is also going through some tough challenges as his mom
is fighting her final stage of cancer. And the only thing he can do is
to get mentally prepared beside getting things ready for her after her passing.
My mom passed away due to cancer, 3 years ago and on the day of her passing, was the day I had to fly overseas for work. I did get to say my brief goodbye before rushing off to the airport but did not have the grieving send off. When I came back 1 month later, things had gone back to norm and my family members had began to cope with the lost of my mom. As for me, there was this blank in my memories of her passing and she no longer appear in my parent's house when I visit. Yet, I did not regret the decision of not staying back for her funeral as it was necessary for me to leave for work with I had committed. Still, somehow, I can only accept that that's how life had been per-arranged by fate.Such is life.
I am so looking forward to my 60th birthday next year but I know that it will be filled with lots of challenges because of the recent rise in COVID cases. We will never know if next year will be a good or bad year but just count the blessings and takes things in stride and manage the challenges as it comes.
Stay safe!
02 February 2021
The difference stages of my gay life.
20s -
Exploring and struggling within myself about my gayness. Evasive and
secretive about letting people know about my gayness. use different
names on chat groups, etc. Sex wise, still exploring and curious.
30s
- Accepted myself as a gay man and started exploring how to make my sex
partner enjoy themselves. Very abrasive and direct with my wants and
needs, restless and angry. Sexually active and Into NSA fun and no
intention to settle down. Relationship wasn't really in my mind although
it was good to have. Met my 1st bf and realised that married man like
him sucks. Decided to stay single.
40s - Peak form and
had master the art of sex and sexually active and garnered a certain
level or expertise on bed and many repeat bottoms coming back for more.
Had a few relationship and started to be jaded after having too many
dramas. Mellowed somewhat. Started to really considered settling down
with the right partner.
50s - Found my partner and
decided to settle down and work on the relationship. Stop visiting clubs
and mixing more with our str8 friends and keeping a few close gay
friends for occasional outings and makan. Been together for 8 going on
9th years. Life is good and we did many things together even thought we
are many years apart in our age. Lots of give and take and compromises
and sacrifices to make if you want to see things work.
So yes, as we get older we do mellow down and focus on what we really want in life.
I
would like to add that, we should live our life to the fullest and
enjoy life as it come. No point regretting later that we never did what
we wanted, because once its past, it's gone. Enjoy your process.
How time flies, we have been together for the last 8 years since April 2012. We brave through times when I was off for work for months oversea and the current COVID-19 together.
Life is as per normal as he goes to work and come back home after work and we have out dinner together, either he cooks or we go out for dinner.
Hope the situation will get better and that COVID-19 will be a gone soon.
Someone text me to tell me that he is dating someone 15years older than him and asked me if age is a problem?
For someone who had been with many guys whom are younger than me. I don't see it as much of a problem. Love is love, you love someone for who they are, it just so happens that their age is younger or older than you. The love you have between each other is not going to diminish or increase just because he is older or younger than you are.
Having said that, the next thing is how compatible are both of you? Do you click with each other? Do you have common interest? Do you talk it out if you have disagreements?
My young bf is 26year younger than me and we have been together for the past 6 to 7 years and still going strong.
In the beginning, my younger bf were conscientious when introducing friends around his age to me. He is worried of what others might say or ask. That I can understand, so sometimes I will join him with his friends and sometimes I don't, just so that I don't make it difficult for him. But over the few years we have been together, his friends starts to get use to seeing me around. He eventually came out to his very close friends about our relationship and his straight friends though surprised but accepted him for who he is.
Sometimes, young people are very conscious about their image and social standings. For me, I don't bother with how others view me. I live the life I want and I don't owe anyone a living and neither do they, so I am not at all bothered by how people sees me, as I don't live my life on other's expectations. I hope that young people understand this too. Don't live your life on what others expect of you. Live your life how you want as long as you don't hurt or harm people. Always choose to live a happy life.
So, is age a problem in a relationship? I can only says that, if you think it's a problem then you have a problem, but if you don't think it's a problem then it's hardly a problem. It's between you and the person you love, whatever problem you might have, I am sure you will find a solution for it.
It's 2016. Our relationship is coming to 4 years. My good friend in Taiwan is celebrating his 11th years with his bf. It's rare for gay couples to have relationship that long but it does happen.
For my friend who is in his 11th years, I must say, the Taiwanese are the most open minded in thinking than many Singaporeans, including myself. I met my Taiwanese friends in Bangkok back in 2000 while I was working there and he was there nursing a heartache as he had just broken off a 4 year relationship.
We did not meet again until 2003 when I went Bangkok with my then ex. We met by chance while I was going up to take the train at Saladang, while he was walking down. My ex noticed that he was staring at me and told me and I took a glance and thought he looked familiar but can't recall his name. I searched my phone and called him and he answered that he is now in Bangkok and we just pass each other. I invited him to join us and we enjoyed our little get away holiday.
Our friendship bonded during that trip and we became close friends after that. I would visit him in Taipei the next year with my ex and he introduced his then new boy friend to us. Back in 2004, he was only dating this guy and he had said they would try out the relationship and now, fast forward today, they are celebrating their 11th Anniversary.
My Taiwanese friend had, during his 11 year relationship been in 2 multiple partners relationship. One was with another couple about 4 years ago. Although that relationship lasted about a year plus. they are still friends. They broke off because one of the other couple was a tad too childish and selfish.
The last time I met my Taiwanese friend was a few months ago and also in Bangkok with my current bf and he brought along another guy whom had agreed to be the 3rd person in his current relationship with the agreement from my friend's boyfriend. We had a great time together enjoying good food, massages, and shopping.
We can tell that the new bf really love my friend from all the little action he did and I am really happy for my friend to find someone like him. My friend is not a hunk but he is certainly the most intelligent, charming and talented person one can have as a friend. I am always amaze by the fact that he is able to manage a relationship with multiple partners and that he is able to talk and make sense whenever there is any dispute or argument and he is the best person I would go to to get answers for relationship issues.
Its really not easy to be in a relationship for gay couple, and its even harder to have a relationship that can last more than 11 year. The difficulty level multiplies when you have a 3 or 4 person relationship. It's not impossible but possible and my Taiwanese friend is proof that it is possible. Kudos to him.
As for me, I am very happy to be with my current bf of about 4 years although we might have a 26 year age gap. So, basically, nothing is really impossible for a relationship to work, its just whether you want to make it work or not.
04 March 2015
It's 2015 and how time flies.
Have not been posting as I have been busy with work over the past few years, though not terribly busy, but busy none the less.
New Year, Chinese New Year came and went and its Chap Goh Meh (15th and last day of the Chinese New Year). To me Chinese New Year is the same every year, I am not a very festive person so I usually don't organise anything in my house. But I was invited to attend a few parties to celebrate the Chinese New Year.
Well, 2014 was a good year where I get to travel and does some great work overseas. It had never dawned upon me that my work would take me overseas. But by some stroke of luck, I was asked to work oversea twice. So 2014 was actually a great year for me with lots of opportunities and work. Thus it is something to be thankful for.
What was good had also it's bad. My health was slightly affected last year after being lazy and inactive. My 2 oversea work trip although was good opportunity but it came with a price; A sprain back and some breathing problem, luckily it was very minor and I recovered from it, fortunately, since I had purchase travel insurance, I was able to claim for both the medical treatments.
Last year was also a year where I traveled to Bangkok, Hong Kong for holidays with my boy. Come April and it would be our third year together. How time really flies. Everything with us is rather routine and we each busy with our own work but the best part of it was that he has been staying with me for the past 1 year plus.
I am getting use to him sleeping next to me and hearing him breath and sometimes snores. So when I travel or when he is not around, I sort of not use to sleeping alone without him next to me.
Life is such, when you are so used to being alone, you need to get use to people sleeping next to you, but if you are attached for some time, you may not get use to not having someone sleeping next you.
I can still hear his breathing next to me as I am typing. :)
I'm stumped by the fact that a Taiwanese guy whom I've not met in person is in love with me for 7 years. I found that out only today after linking up with him just yesterday after a few years absent. He had sent me a message and I added him to my social network app. Years ago, he had sent me a message on my other social network app online and we chatted briefly on MSN, he was 19 then and I thought he was a tad too young. Nonetheless, we maintained an on and off chat and I shared with him advises and listened to him on his problems. It didn't take long for him to profess his love for me, which I kindly turned down. The reason I told him that we are too far apart and that he is still young and should concentrate on his studies. I also consciously decided to avoid him and cut down our conversation as I realised that he is serious about his love for me. Eventually, we did not chat online and things dwindled down. Little that I know that after so many years, he still feels the same for me. I thought he would had found someone else and move on, but no. I told him the same reasons I told him years ago and that I'll feel bad if he had wasted all this time waiting for something that may not happened, but he is adamant. Nothing I can say can't change his mind. He even told me that he had not had sex with anyone and that he was waiting for me and looking forward to meet me in the future. I was skeptical and asked him how he deals with his urges and he says for the past years, he used the pics I gave him to Jo. (OMG, unbelievable) I asked him how he would feels if someone had said the same things he said to me, to him? I told him that I felt pressurised from what he said and also that the thought that someone had love me for 7 years without even meeting is : 1. Very Romantic 2. Very Creepy Anyway, I am taking everything with a pinch of salt and see how things progresses. He is a nice kid and I had spoken with him over the phone and he comes across as genuine as he can be and I still the same vibes I get from him after all these years. To an extreme, I even told him that I am not the boyfriend material as I am too much of a playboy and his answer to me is that he don't mind who I am and only want me to allow him to love me. (His msg :"我不管你多不專一, 我只要你讓我愛你就好") Still the thought that such devotion for a skeptical person like me stumped me. I am never a person who are at a lost for words but I sure am now. So in the mean time, I just take it in and smile.
